Lightning fast, the secrets of Kung Fu! What did Carl Douglas and George Harrison have in common?
As you can possibly imagine; today’s post is a bit on the lighter side of martial arts life. The eBay explanation to the cover of an old German music magazine told me: “Carl Douglas – Everything about Kung Fu!” Naturally, I had to have it.
By the way - At the end of the post, I will describe a totally deadly Kung Fu technique!
So, Carl was quite the one-hit wonder in 1974 with “Kung Fu fighting.” In the German charts #1, ahead of Sweet (#3 and #17), David Cassidy, Suzi Quatro, George McCrae, Slade and others. John Lennon made it in December of 1974 from #19 only to spot #7, Neil Diamond #20. The British charts featured David Essex on top. Number one in America was Billy Swan.
Sorry I can’t help it, it’s so cheesy; for the Germans here the #2 after Carl Douglas, Michael Holm.
So much for a tidbit of music history. Back to Kung Fu fighting.
There it is, finally on page 44 of the magazine: “Everything about Kung Fu” I knew it, finally I will know it all. But first a lot of “Kung Fu”, hard work, training my iron grip by having to go through the previous 43 pages in search for the ultimate Kung Fu secrets. Carl makes it difficult. Many probably gave up somewhere between the pages 20 to 30. Not me!
Now, the all-revealing text begins! Carl Douglas in 1974:
“My song ‘Kung Fu fighting’ is on millions of turntables. Since then do I, the founder of ‘Karate-Rock,’ live a life of danger. I didn’t know, but in the eyes of many traditional Chinese have I committed a dangerous sin: I have made the secret art of Kung Fu public and by doing so became a traitor on Chinese tradition. Until recently Kung Fu, the weaponless art of self-defense, was completely unknown, compared to Japanese Karate and Korean Taekwondo. No wonder that a martial art like Kung Fu, which is the perfect blend of mind and body and on top also develops character, was only shown to family clan members. ... Kung Fu consists of six different styles, based on the movements of animals. That’s the reason for the names of the techniques: Tiger, Praying Mantis, Snake, Horse, Monkey and Crane style. Each style features 4000 to 5000 stances, out of which you defend yourself against attacks. All movements are designed to work very quickly with the least amount of strength, targeting nerves and other sensitive areas of the human body. Many parts of the body can turn into absolutely deadly weapons, but of course only in an emergency. Your Kung Fu should follow ancient guidelines like:
1. Avoid an attack instead of hurting the opponent.
2. Hurt the opponent instead of injuring him.
3. Injure the attacker instead of killing him.
4. Kill only if you otherwise would get killed.“
And it continues. Carl Douglas: “Now you want to know if since the record has been released, I live in fear of revenge from Kung Fu fanatics? No, I don’t! Years ago, George Harrison disgraced East Indian heritage by using the holy sitar in his and the music of The Beatles. The prophecies predicted dark setbacks, but George is still alive (1974).”
So, Carl was the original traitor. Now we finally know. Wasn’t there somebody else? Bruce ... something? Oh well, can’t remember. Whoever this Bruce guy was, he might have had nothing to do with real Kung Fu, unlike Carl.
Tonight we will train in class the secret Kung Fu, as shown on page 45 of the magazine. The attacker kicks, you quickly duck to the ground, completely naturally jump up under the kick in progress, and simply throw the attacker to the ground. Then you are absolutely safe while standing between the legs of the former kicker, now able to hit him where the sun doesn’t shine.
Any last words?
Everybody was kung-fu fighting
Those cats were fast as lightning
In fact it was a little bit frightening
But they fought with expert timing